Monday, February 1, 2010

He makes her lunch and give her pedicures.

these recurring themes have once again rendered me sleepless; lust, greed and cruelty.

I did pull the wings off a dragonfly once. And then I saved a bunch of tadpoles from drowning. I have so many evil thoughts that I don't want to own up to.

I want Veronica to fail. At least, I want her to fall down and get scabs on that super-humanely pretty milky white skin of hers. But I know that band-aids on her knees would only make her cuter. Have you ever known a girl that's just perfect?
Veronica is flawless. She's why-can't-I-be-her? She has the one relationship in the world I am actually envious of. Her boyfriend gives her rides and flowers. He's funny and gorgeous. He makes her lunch and gives her pedicures. When we were younger, and I would go over to her house a lot, I would often spend hours and hours hanging out with her parents. They are – despite being both rich and famous – super-cool. They give their daughter love, not things. They gave me love when I needed it. Veronica has natural strawberry blond hair in which a chunk of rainbow forever is trapped.
And just last week she got the internship that I had applied for and wanted badly. I almost constructed a voodoo doll of Veronica to stick needles into.

When she found out that I had applied for that too, she called me and apologized and then she came over with heart-shaped vegan cookies that she had baked.

And I just found myself imagining Veronica in a terrible car accident that had her legs twisted around her waist, her face a bloody pulp.

I don't know who makes me more sick; her or me.

Update: Neighbor denied ever seeing my iphone. His beast is too scary to deal with. Monica wrote me a strange email that I think I will post here. I may go meet Justin soon. I am not sure why I should. I figure: Say yes to life.

Images by badass Tracey Emin

10 comments:

  1. i really like this story! you rock, girl. i mean it, you're really a good writer. i'm very interested to interview and feature your blog in my blog one day, where to e-mail you when i'm ready? :)

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  2. YOULL FEEL BETTERRRRRRR :)
    she sounds like a mole shes probably empty inside bahahah :)

    hope you feel better.

    x.

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  3. ughhh, i just adore your anecdotes.

    i don't even know you, yet i'm proud of you. ha.

    love love love.

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  4. It's odd how you can love something and hate it at the same time. Very bold of you to write about this - most people just let it eat them from the inside.

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  5. your comment made me really surprisingly happy. i think you can't comprehend what it's like until it happens to you. never again. fuck actors. fuck perfect people and their perfect boyfriends and their perfect apologetic heart-shaped vegan cookies. i'd want to kill her too, i don't blame you. although i am guessing that there's something deep-seated there that's not perfect. there always is.

    also i don't find it very nice that you have pictures of cupcakes and cotton candy all over your blog. i think you know why. :D

    really though i'm just teasing! xx x

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  6. Love your new look! Or, your blogs anyway.
    I love your look to.
    ANYWAY! Wana go for a beer?

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  7. Meet Justin! Forget about Monica!

    Sophia
    http://apoetscircus.blogspot.com/

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  8. I've met girls like that in life and had terrible thoughts about them. It's not being sick, it's being human.

    I love how you describe her hair having "rainbows trapped in it". Beautiful.

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  9. YOU rock. I am more than certain of it. I could get lost in the many, many pages of you. But then I'd never finish my art assignment and then I'd get a zero on it and have to blame a randomly wonderful stranger from Bloggerdom.

    I don't see my professor going for that.

    <3
    P.D.

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You Rock. I am certain of it.