Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Said that black lipstick wasn't flattering

Drowsiness washes over me like black waves. Threatening to pull me under and push my body down onto jagged rocks wrapped in seaweed. I feel jet-lagged, but I haven't traveled anywhere. Not yet. I haven't even left my room. I can't but surrender to the poison.

Once I sat on a jetty with my feet in a predator-fish infested water. It was a dare. 

I was born this way. I should know better than trying to change.

They used to be concerned. They used to feel sorry for me. I used to see worry cloud their eyes like Los Angeles pollution clouds the California sky. I was a lost cause even then. It was much worse than they ever could have known.

I dreamed about wild horses, dark waters and dark boys with eyes that could suck the light out of any room. Any day.

I wrote letters. Typing away until my wrists were aching.

Still, they just worried and worried. Said I changed too much. Said that black lipstick wasn't flattering on nobody. And not scar tattoos either.

I've always done it my way. 

11 comments:

  1. my dear, every post you intrigue me more and more. what is in there, hidden behind your stunning words? what are you hiding that you only hint at? why have i fallen in love with your vagueness, your cryptic tangible words? sometimes i want to meet you and sit in a dark room and smoke cigarettes and ask you what's in your heart and sometimes i'm afraid because despite blogging i am not sure that either of us would let the other in, not really. still.

    this is a stunningly gorgeous post, by the way. you make me jealous and i wish i could write this way, this well.

    xx x

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  2. I have a scar tattoo (homemade) although most folks wouldn't notice it as such. Beautiful writing (gush) I hope all is well with you.

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  3. i kinda want to be you. is that weird?

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  4. awww... kim, i love.

    i love your uniqueness and independent nature.

    i love coming here to find some more magical words that fill my soul with... well.... love really.

    xxx
    t

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  5. wow, Kim. just WOW. this is my favorite so far!! i can totally relate to what you wrote here.

    " I used to see worry cloud their eyes like Los Angeles pollution clouds the California sky"

    and the parts where you told about how and what you dream for so many times.

    i can totally relate. :)

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  6. :D.. me happy reading this :D spankadyllic awesomesause ring your neck smash you head black lipstick awesome :)

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  7. Every post of yours seems to grab me and make me want to read it... I haven't quite worked out why just yet, But i love reading your posts... I love black lipstick btw... Love following your blog :)

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  8. I'm really terrible at decoding poetry, & this makes my attention span for poetry rather short. With yours, my attention never runs out.

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  9. Ok, you have got me hook line and sinker, even after a quick dip into the pool of your writing. You wouldn't be a Raymond Carver fan perchance?
    Anyhoo you have nabbed a new follower. Looking forward to the next installment....

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  10. love that photo + your writing.
    happy Easter to you.
    xoxo

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  11. Oh Kim, you are quite brilliant :)

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You Rock. I am certain of it.