A day on the beach with S.

We drove north. i wanted to reach Big Sur, but there was no time. never time. Always no time. Highway 1.
Hot day. Hot girl in my car. But her hands are always so cold. And she flinches when I try to touch her. And we are not talking sexual advances here. No undertones. No undertow.

I had made nice vegan sandwiches. Of course she didn't eat. I am still in a strangely dark mood. It almost feels chemical. Maybe those pills did a number on my system?

We talked. About her mother and about Sweden. All the things she left behind. And all the things we have to look forward to. We both agreed; it's not much.

Still a perfect day.

I don't know what I am still doing up at 5.