i went to the cemetery today. it's certainly not pere lachaise. not even minus the pathetic jim m-fans. but still, it's one of my favorite spots in this smog barrel of a town.
i left a sunflower bouquet on my mother's grave. then i sat down, cross-legged in the grass, and tried really hard to feel her spirit. i felt nothing but an unexplored part of the grayscale descending on me.
I've felt really lonely and I have masturbated a lot. So much in fact, that it's starting to bore me. I need triple action: therapy, travel and tramadol.
Off to Berlin on Sunday. Now I'll go cruising down Mullholland Drive.